On the rocks at Joshua Tree National Park
On the rocks at Joshua Tree National Park
On top of a mountain (and freezing!)
Whirlwind Weekend
In addition to the USNA Out meeting, I did get to spend some time just bumming around in San Fran. I flew in on Thursday night and Jeff picked me up. On the way to his place, he took me to the top of Twin Peak, which has just an amazing view of the city. At night, San Fran has just a great skyline and Jeff was pointing out the different areas of the city. It was cool, and a bit cold. We had great plans to go out that night, but there was a small problem (a lost wallet, well, really mis-placed but we thought lost at the time). So Jeff took me to my hotel and then went back to the airport to see if any turned in his wallet. So the upside is that I got to sleep early (2AM DC time).
The next day I got up, worked out the mini-gym at the hotel, and then did work. Seriously. Have laptop, will slave away. I did meet Jeff and Zoe (another USNA alumni) for lunch to talk about our upcoming meeting. Then when Jeff want back to work, I wandered around Union Square and checked out the great shopping. It was great, but some of the prices were just shocking. I mean, $225 for a tie. Something I'm going to drip on? I think not. But I did hit the sales rack at Kennth Cole and found a great black (natch) windbreaker. After Jeff got off work, we wandered around a bit more and then we took a quick tour of the city. We took a cable car over to the Maritime Museum and the Fisherman's Wharf area. Then we hit the downtown area and the ferry terminal building. Then we bolted back to his place in time to change for cocktails. Jeff had planned a no-host social at Mecca, a hip trendy bar/restaurant in the Castro. Zoe and another grad, Paul, were there, so we had some drinks and then the four of us had dinner. Since Jeff was exhausted, he headed home and Paul gave me a quick tour of a couple of places in the Castro. But between the jet lag and no disco nap, a late night was not in the cards. I think I was back at the hotel by midnight.
On Staturday, after another quick trip to the mini-gym at the hotel, I met Jeff and Barb (another alumni) at the Starbucks in the Castro. Jeff referred to it as the bear starbucks. And I will say that the scenery was interesting. There were a couple of guys there that I wouldn't have minded getting to know better. After that, Jeff and I went on another driving tour of San Fran. We went to the Palace of Fine Arts. We went to the foot of the Golden Gate bridge. We drove through the Presidio. And then finally we made it to the Legion of Honor for our meeting.
After the meeting, Jeff and I went back to his place and just relaxed a bit before meeting up with more alumni for dinner that night. Jeff and I did go out that night and hit some of the bars south of Market. Jeff was killing me. There was no one there and he felt bad about that. But I wasn't going to be able to stay out late anyways. We did hit the Eagle and the Powerhouse. Interesting and probably worth a repeat visit.
Sunday AM I worked again (does it ever stop!!!!), then went out to the museum where Jeff works to take a tour and just hang. During his "break" we drove across the Golden Gate bridge over to the Marin Headlands and Point Bonito Lighthouse. The weather was perfect and crossing the bridge and then heading into this natural area was just amazing. We hiked out to the lighthouse and the rugged coastline was just amazing. Then it was a mad dash back to the museum. After Jeff finished work, we headed back to the Castro for some drinks and then dinner and then it was time for the hell flight back to DC. The red eye is never fun. And there should be a law forbidding infants from red eye flights. I think I got around 2 hours of sleep so work on Monday was a joy.
Oh well, the trip was SO worth it. And I'll be back. Maybe for Folsom?
The next day I got up, worked out the mini-gym at the hotel, and then did work. Seriously. Have laptop, will slave away. I did meet Jeff and Zoe (another USNA alumni) for lunch to talk about our upcoming meeting. Then when Jeff want back to work, I wandered around Union Square and checked out the great shopping. It was great, but some of the prices were just shocking. I mean, $225 for a tie. Something I'm going to drip on? I think not. But I did hit the sales rack at Kennth Cole and found a great black (natch) windbreaker. After Jeff got off work, we wandered around a bit more and then we took a quick tour of the city. We took a cable car over to the Maritime Museum and the Fisherman's Wharf area. Then we hit the downtown area and the ferry terminal building. Then we bolted back to his place in time to change for cocktails. Jeff had planned a no-host social at Mecca, a hip trendy bar/restaurant in the Castro. Zoe and another grad, Paul, were there, so we had some drinks and then the four of us had dinner. Since Jeff was exhausted, he headed home and Paul gave me a quick tour of a couple of places in the Castro. But between the jet lag and no disco nap, a late night was not in the cards. I think I was back at the hotel by midnight.
On Staturday, after another quick trip to the mini-gym at the hotel, I met Jeff and Barb (another alumni) at the Starbucks in the Castro. Jeff referred to it as the bear starbucks. And I will say that the scenery was interesting. There were a couple of guys there that I wouldn't have minded getting to know better. After that, Jeff and I went on another driving tour of San Fran. We went to the Palace of Fine Arts. We went to the foot of the Golden Gate bridge. We drove through the Presidio. And then finally we made it to the Legion of Honor for our meeting.
After the meeting, Jeff and I went back to his place and just relaxed a bit before meeting up with more alumni for dinner that night. Jeff and I did go out that night and hit some of the bars south of Market. Jeff was killing me. There was no one there and he felt bad about that. But I wasn't going to be able to stay out late anyways. We did hit the Eagle and the Powerhouse. Interesting and probably worth a repeat visit.
Sunday AM I worked again (does it ever stop!!!!), then went out to the museum where Jeff works to take a tour and just hang. During his "break" we drove across the Golden Gate bridge over to the Marin Headlands and Point Bonito Lighthouse. The weather was perfect and crossing the bridge and then heading into this natural area was just amazing. We hiked out to the lighthouse and the rugged coastline was just amazing. Then it was a mad dash back to the museum. After Jeff finished work, we headed back to the Castro for some drinks and then dinner and then it was time for the hell flight back to DC. The red eye is never fun. And there should be a law forbidding infants from red eye flights. I think I got around 2 hours of sleep so work on Monday was a joy.
Oh well, the trip was SO worth it. And I'll be back. Maybe for Folsom?
A Meeting of Friends
That’s what Jeff called it. And it was. We met at the
Last year our group helped a midshipman who was kicked out for being gay. He didn’t want to go home because his parents didn’t approve of him being gay. So he stayed with some of our members in the local DC/Annapolis area. He finally did go back home, but now has to work two job, pay rent to his parents, and is trying to get back into college. And this is 2004. I can’t imagine getting kicked out of the
Our group wants to support those Navy officers, and midshipman, who are still in the closet because of DADT. We hope that by being visible, by being out, by showing that others have walked down the same path, by leading by example, that we can work to make the Navy, the Naval Academy, the Naval Academy Alumni Association open to all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. It was really empowering to sit in that room with these other GLBT alumni and know that despite all of the challenges and discriminations we may have faced, that we still want to support our school by making it free of discrimination.
The meeting was a huge success. We came up with a good plan to move forward, to engage the alumni association, and how to build and strengthen our organization.
Religion, Sex, and Politics
Three things you shouldn't talk about at a dinner party as you are sure to ruffle some feathers. Alteast that's what Emily Post says. But this isn't a dinner party, it's my blog so damn the rules!!!
Let's do politics first. My academy class has a mailing list. Actually we have two. One is for general information (hey we've gotten married, had kids, I'm looking for a job, etc) and one is for political discussions. At one point the first mailing list got bogged down with politics and alot of people got turned off by it, so they created a separate mailing list. But then no one was using it to talk about anything relevant. Enter Trey, the instigator. Wait, strike that. That sounds like I was doing this for fun or part of some larger plot. It wasn't like that. As Academy graduates, we are now moving into positions of authority in both the civilian and military world. We should be having discussions about the various topics that impact us as Academy graduates and US citizens. So I offered up Andrew Sullivan's review of some books on the torture at Abu Ghraib as a starting point. There has been some "discussion", and by "discussion" I mean dismissing of the accusations, calling the sources I used liberal or my favorite "whackjobs." I expected my classmates to be a bit right of center. But this raises the question, at what point does your own internal prejudices blind you to facts that go against your arguement or support an opposing position? In the latest salvo, one of my classmates didn't even address the FBI memo that I had attached to the email. In it, it states that there were techniques authorized by Bush that were beyond what the FBI allows. If that isn't the most PC cover for torture, I don't know what is. Anyways, it will be interesting to see if the discussion changes anyone's minds. Mine included.
Sex. It was MAL this weekend. And usually a good time had by all. But not for me. I didn't really partake of the fun. I did go to the leather mart and was looking for a pair of leather chaps. I did find some really cool leather jackets (at like $800!!!) and then of course, I had to run into someone who works for me. Can you say "embarrasing"? And then to make matters worse, we ended up talking about what color striping I wanted on the chaps. Blue, definitely blue. That's the only option!! I'm sure I'll get grief for it later. I did go to the dance. I saw quite a few people I recognized, including Andrew Sullivan and Jimbo. I think leather dances are better than regular circuit parties. Less attitude. Atleast from I can tell. Of course, I left around 3AM.
Religion? I think I'll pass tonight.
Let's do politics first. My academy class has a mailing list. Actually we have two. One is for general information (hey we've gotten married, had kids, I'm looking for a job, etc) and one is for political discussions. At one point the first mailing list got bogged down with politics and alot of people got turned off by it, so they created a separate mailing list. But then no one was using it to talk about anything relevant. Enter Trey, the instigator. Wait, strike that. That sounds like I was doing this for fun or part of some larger plot. It wasn't like that. As Academy graduates, we are now moving into positions of authority in both the civilian and military world. We should be having discussions about the various topics that impact us as Academy graduates and US citizens. So I offered up Andrew Sullivan's review of some books on the torture at Abu Ghraib as a starting point. There has been some "discussion", and by "discussion" I mean dismissing of the accusations, calling the sources I used liberal or my favorite "whackjobs." I expected my classmates to be a bit right of center. But this raises the question, at what point does your own internal prejudices blind you to facts that go against your arguement or support an opposing position? In the latest salvo, one of my classmates didn't even address the FBI memo that I had attached to the email. In it, it states that there were techniques authorized by Bush that were beyond what the FBI allows. If that isn't the most PC cover for torture, I don't know what is. Anyways, it will be interesting to see if the discussion changes anyone's minds. Mine included.
Sex. It was MAL this weekend. And usually a good time had by all. But not for me. I didn't really partake of the fun. I did go to the leather mart and was looking for a pair of leather chaps. I did find some really cool leather jackets (at like $800!!!) and then of course, I had to run into someone who works for me. Can you say "embarrasing"? And then to make matters worse, we ended up talking about what color striping I wanted on the chaps. Blue, definitely blue. That's the only option!! I'm sure I'll get grief for it later. I did go to the dance. I saw quite a few people I recognized, including Andrew Sullivan and Jimbo. I think leather dances are better than regular circuit parties. Less attitude. Atleast from I can tell. Of course, I left around 3AM.
Religion? I think I'll pass tonight.
The Sights and Smells of Charleston
Down in Charleston for a work conference. I come down here every other month or so. It's nice. I stay in the downtown area and I've been told it's like a cleaner, smaller New Orleans. Still need to go there.
Anyways, it smells here. Bad. Really bad. Even inside. It's that close to a paper mill or industrial plant type smell. Some people say it's the swamp near by. I'm not sure sure. I just know if smells awful. And you can't hide from it. It's everywhere.
Heading back to DC tonight. My plans for this weekend? A little bit of MAL fun. My "Lord of the Rings" movie marathon. Some quality gym time. Work on updating my resume. And get some quality nap time in. NO WORK!!!
Oh well, a better blog entry soon. I promise.
Anyways, it smells here. Bad. Really bad. Even inside. It's that close to a paper mill or industrial plant type smell. Some people say it's the swamp near by. I'm not sure sure. I just know if smells awful. And you can't hide from it. It's everywhere.
Heading back to DC tonight. My plans for this weekend? A little bit of MAL fun. My "Lord of the Rings" movie marathon. Some quality gym time. Work on updating my resume. And get some quality nap time in. NO WORK!!!
Oh well, a better blog entry soon. I promise.
Starting Over
Okay, let's try this again.
It's only the sixth day of the year. I really can do better. Yes work has sucked my will to live, but I need to break the cycle of chaos. Now that the proposal is over, hopefully I can get back to having some sort of work/life balance.
On the plus side, I did go for a run tonight, and it felt good. A little bit cold, but I love the grey, misty weather we are having. It was really foggy when I left work and I really loved it. The grey, foggy weather, with mist hanging in the air really seems to take the edges off everything. Nothing seems so black and white, so stark, so clear cut. Even the gas lamps and street lights seems to have a peaceful glow about them. I need to enjoy it now, I'm sure an artic cold blast is just days away.
It's only the sixth day of the year. I really can do better. Yes work has sucked my will to live, but I need to break the cycle of chaos. Now that the proposal is over, hopefully I can get back to having some sort of work/life balance.
On the plus side, I did go for a run tonight, and it felt good. A little bit cold, but I love the grey, misty weather we are having. It was really foggy when I left work and I really loved it. The grey, foggy weather, with mist hanging in the air really seems to take the edges off everything. Nothing seems so black and white, so stark, so clear cut. Even the gas lamps and street lights seems to have a peaceful glow about them. I need to enjoy it now, I'm sure an artic cold blast is just days away.
Is bitchslapping a form of exercise?
So the fourth day of this great year and I'm exhausted. If you can't tell the positive outlook on life has been crushed by the realities of my banal existence, then let me clue you in. Just as I suspected, work is proceeding to suck my will to live. And completely sabotage my new years resolution. I didn't work out today, but I hope to get to the gym tomorrow.
The cause of my recent work suckage? A fairly major 2 year, $16M proposal for my project. Not a bad chunk of change, but it's alot of work getting ready for the oral presentation to the government on Thursday. I haven't been sleeping or exercising much, but certainly food and caffienne are my friends. Anyways, I worked late tonight. Working at home is proving a bit challenging with a lot of different distractions. So I stayed in the office. I got home around 10ish and realized that I needed something. So I hiked over to Whole Foods (it was closed), then to the CVS next to it (it was closed), and then just before heading home I thougth I would check out the CVS on 17th St. Sure enough it was open. I picked up my stuff and then headed home. As I walked back along P St, tired, a bit disheveled, and just a little bit cold, I see two young twinks approaching. Here they come sashaying down the sidewalk, wearing their low rise jeans which accentuate their 30 in waist (if even), their little too tight t-shirts streched across thier early 20's chest, and the perfect coiffed hair-dos. The one closest to me was wearing a t-shirt that said, "Hot Stuff."
It took ALL of my strength not to bitchslap them. And I mean All.
And as I type this, and as I shortly head to bed so I can repeat this wonderful day, I know they'll be drinking and dancing at some club on 17th St. Damn it, I should have bitchslapped them. It probably does count as exercise!
The cause of my recent work suckage? A fairly major 2 year, $16M proposal for my project. Not a bad chunk of change, but it's alot of work getting ready for the oral presentation to the government on Thursday. I haven't been sleeping or exercising much, but certainly food and caffienne are my friends. Anyways, I worked late tonight. Working at home is proving a bit challenging with a lot of different distractions. So I stayed in the office. I got home around 10ish and realized that I needed something. So I hiked over to Whole Foods (it was closed), then to the CVS next to it (it was closed), and then just before heading home I thougth I would check out the CVS on 17th St. Sure enough it was open. I picked up my stuff and then headed home. As I walked back along P St, tired, a bit disheveled, and just a little bit cold, I see two young twinks approaching. Here they come sashaying down the sidewalk, wearing their low rise jeans which accentuate their 30 in waist (if even), their little too tight t-shirts streched across thier early 20's chest, and the perfect coiffed hair-dos. The one closest to me was wearing a t-shirt that said, "Hot Stuff."
It took ALL of my strength not to bitchslap them. And I mean All.
And as I type this, and as I shortly head to bed so I can repeat this wonderful day, I know they'll be drinking and dancing at some club on 17th St. Damn it, I should have bitchslapped them. It probably does count as exercise!
Happy 2005
Amazingly enough, I'm looking forward to 2005. 2004 didn't work out the way I thought it might, professionally or personally, but I've got a strange, dare I say positive attitude toward 2005. This could be my year. When all of my dreams come true. I'm hoping this positive feeling lasts while.
I did wake up with a small hangover. Three margaritas and some champagne will do that to you. I did get a kiss last night. From the guy I wanted to kiss. But I'm not sure it's the kiss I wanted. It's weird and confusing and one of my resolutions this year is to be more open and honest in . . . . . wait for it . . . . communicating my feelings (gasp!). Yeah, never my strong suit, but I'm going to try. Despite the hangover, I did go to the gym. It was amazingly empty. I suspect that most people's new year resolutions don't start till Monday. Then the gym will be an absolute zoo. Oh well.
Speaking of resolutions, I've made a couple:
1) Go to the gym 5 days a week, even if it's just for cardio.
2) Do something cultural in DC atleast once a month. My first mission is to go to the new Smithsonsian for the American Indian.
3) Do something every day that is good for me.
Which bring me to my quote for the year! It's from a song by Heather Smalls. Love her. Have been listening to her CD and it's just amazing. There are so many great songs, but "Proud" is my favorite. So even though it's kind of old, it's my theme song for 2005:
"I look into the window of my mind,
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me know
And you can do the same.
"What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom,
What have you done today to make you feel proud?"
I did wake up with a small hangover. Three margaritas and some champagne will do that to you. I did get a kiss last night. From the guy I wanted to kiss. But I'm not sure it's the kiss I wanted. It's weird and confusing and one of my resolutions this year is to be more open and honest in . . . . . wait for it . . . . communicating my feelings (gasp!). Yeah, never my strong suit, but I'm going to try. Despite the hangover, I did go to the gym. It was amazingly empty. I suspect that most people's new year resolutions don't start till Monday. Then the gym will be an absolute zoo. Oh well.
Speaking of resolutions, I've made a couple:
1) Go to the gym 5 days a week, even if it's just for cardio.
2) Do something cultural in DC atleast once a month. My first mission is to go to the new Smithsonsian for the American Indian.
3) Do something every day that is good for me.
Which bring me to my quote for the year! It's from a song by Heather Smalls. Love her. Have been listening to her CD and it's just amazing. There are so many great songs, but "Proud" is my favorite. So even though it's kind of old, it's my theme song for 2005:
"I look into the window of my mind,
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me know
And you can do the same.
"What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom,
What have you done today to make you feel proud?"
Merry Christmas
"And to all of us: may we give, and recieve, love in greater measure than any of us can now imagine." - John Hazlehurst from the Colorado Springs Independent.
A Tale of Two Television Channels
My Christmas vacation can be boiled down to a Tale of Two Television Channels.
My parents have the television on all of the time. They listen to Al Jazeera, oops, I mean, Foxs News Network, all day long. So it's just a constant stream of right wing, jingo-istic, partisan, diatribe all day long. With the recent suicide attack in Mosul, it's all bad news, all the time. And I'm not belittling what happened there, it's a awful loss and I feel horribly for the horrible loss of the life and my heart goes out to their families and loved ones. But do we need to hear about it over and over and over again. Pictures of the wounded, the blast scene, etc. It's pretty graphic. And it's what Fox shows all the time. Every hour. All day. It's pretty overwhelming.
Which brings me to the alternative. Needless to say, my sister (mother of two small children) is sensitive to all of the explicit images and bad news being spewed by Fox News. So for the kiddies, we've got PBS. Clippper, Sesame Street, and (God help me) Barney. The children don't really watch it either, it's just sort of background noise for their rampaging around the house. But I can't stop hearing the aweful little kids songs. They creep into my subconscious and I just want to hurt someone. And when Barney sings, I just want to pour hot wax in my ears. Someone please stop the madness.
Fox or PBS? Bill Orielly or Barney? What hell am I living in?
My parents have the television on all of the time. They listen to Al Jazeera, oops, I mean, Foxs News Network, all day long. So it's just a constant stream of right wing, jingo-istic, partisan, diatribe all day long. With the recent suicide attack in Mosul, it's all bad news, all the time. And I'm not belittling what happened there, it's a awful loss and I feel horribly for the horrible loss of the life and my heart goes out to their families and loved ones. But do we need to hear about it over and over and over again. Pictures of the wounded, the blast scene, etc. It's pretty graphic. And it's what Fox shows all the time. Every hour. All day. It's pretty overwhelming.
Which brings me to the alternative. Needless to say, my sister (mother of two small children) is sensitive to all of the explicit images and bad news being spewed by Fox News. So for the kiddies, we've got PBS. Clippper, Sesame Street, and (God help me) Barney. The children don't really watch it either, it's just sort of background noise for their rampaging around the house. But I can't stop hearing the aweful little kids songs. They creep into my subconscious and I just want to hurt someone. And when Barney sings, I just want to pour hot wax in my ears. Someone please stop the madness.
Fox or PBS? Bill Orielly or Barney? What hell am I living in?
Homo for the Holidays
My flight was only an hour late and I landed in the middle of a pretty decent snow storm. Took at cab home since it was probably not a good idea for the rentals to drive in that weather. My sister and her family are here already. They all look good. I think LA suits them pretty well.
My top 5 goals for this holiday vacation:
1) Do not kill my parents.
2) Do not gain any weight.
3) Do not kill my parents.
4) Go to the gym every day (except Christmas)
5) Hmm, let's see, there's something I'm missing . . . . . oh that's right, not to kill my parents.
I love my parents. Don't get my wrong. But I'm not out to my Dad and he's a die hard, hard core conservative. So we've got lots of stuff for us to talk about. And while I'm out to my Mom, she's still not very comfortable with it. So we just won't talk about my personal life at all. Am I the only one who sees the big elephant in the room?
But this is how my family works, or doens't as the case may be. We don't talk about the important things. Health, feelings, sex, are all taboo subjects. Work, weather, books are all okay. So weird.
More from white bread central, I mean Colorado, later.
My top 5 goals for this holiday vacation:
1) Do not kill my parents.
2) Do not gain any weight.
3) Do not kill my parents.
4) Go to the gym every day (except Christmas)
5) Hmm, let's see, there's something I'm missing . . . . . oh that's right, not to kill my parents.
I love my parents. Don't get my wrong. But I'm not out to my Dad and he's a die hard, hard core conservative. So we've got lots of stuff for us to talk about. And while I'm out to my Mom, she's still not very comfortable with it. So we just won't talk about my personal life at all. Am I the only one who sees the big elephant in the room?
But this is how my family works, or doens't as the case may be. We don't talk about the important things. Health, feelings, sex, are all taboo subjects. Work, weather, books are all okay. So weird.
More from white bread central, I mean Colorado, later.
Wanted Dead or Alive: But Preferably Dead!
One anal retentative, micro managing, bi-polar, manic depressive, crackberry addicted but emailed impaired, psychotic, hypocritical government program manager. Reward offered.
The 17th Anniversary of my 21st Birthday
You do the math.
So yes, I just had a birthday, and I decided to combine my birthday with a holiday party. I mean, seriously, if straight people can't be gay (def: happy and carefree, merry) during the Christmas season, when can they? So it was supposed to be mix of people, but some of the straight people bailed (after saying yes to my evite, very bad form). So it was mainly gay, with one straight couple, and we had a really good time.
Now I don't drink that much. Never alone, and just never alot when I do drink. But everyone bought some wine for the party, and so everyone was just sucking down the alcohol. At the end of the evening the casualties were as follows: 1 bottle of champagne, 2 bottles of vodka, and 6 bottles of wine. Okay, I had 17 people at my party. You do the math. Gay men drink like fish!
After the party, I went with some of the guys to Cobalt to go dancing. I hadn't been out dancing in forever and was looking forward to it. However, one of my friends who must have been drinking my share of the alcohol earlier in the evening started doing the bump and grind thing with me on the dance floor. Now I can get into that for a bit, and then I sort of feel awkward. Maybe if I had been drunk, but no. And then he goes and says something to me. A proposition. And then the weird factor kind of exploded. I have friends, want a boy friend, but am not too comfortable with the friends with benefits thing. And I'm not a prude. I've been known to do some online shopping. But it was just a little bit weird. So I ended up bailing to go home. That's me doing the responsible, mature thing again. Yikes what a pain.
So yes, I just had a birthday, and I decided to combine my birthday with a holiday party. I mean, seriously, if straight people can't be gay (def: happy and carefree, merry) during the Christmas season, when can they? So it was supposed to be mix of people, but some of the straight people bailed (after saying yes to my evite, very bad form). So it was mainly gay, with one straight couple, and we had a really good time.
Now I don't drink that much. Never alone, and just never alot when I do drink. But everyone bought some wine for the party, and so everyone was just sucking down the alcohol. At the end of the evening the casualties were as follows: 1 bottle of champagne, 2 bottles of vodka, and 6 bottles of wine. Okay, I had 17 people at my party. You do the math. Gay men drink like fish!
After the party, I went with some of the guys to Cobalt to go dancing. I hadn't been out dancing in forever and was looking forward to it. However, one of my friends who must have been drinking my share of the alcohol earlier in the evening started doing the bump and grind thing with me on the dance floor. Now I can get into that for a bit, and then I sort of feel awkward. Maybe if I had been drunk, but no. And then he goes and says something to me. A proposition. And then the weird factor kind of exploded. I have friends, want a boy friend, but am not too comfortable with the friends with benefits thing. And I'm not a prude. I've been known to do some online shopping. But it was just a little bit weird. So I ended up bailing to go home. That's me doing the responsible, mature thing again. Yikes what a pain.
USNA Alumni Castro Chapter
Last Thursday, I attended the USNA Alumni Association Board of Trustees meeting where they were going to vote on whether or not to establish a Castro Chapter of the USNA Alumni Association. I was there with five other GLBT alumni. At the beginning of the meeting, they passed a micro phone around so everyone could introduce themselves. Just by odd luck, I was the first member of the Castro chapter to have to introduce myself. I had to stand up to get the microphone from an elderly alumni member and then said,
"I am Trey R, Class of 1989. I am a member of the proposed Castro Chapter." I passed the mike to Jeff and he said, “I am Jeff P, Class of 1989. I am the President of the proposed Castro Chapter." Then, "I am Zoe D, Class of 1985. I am a member of the proposed Castro Chapter." Then "I am Paula N, Class of 1985. I am a member of the proposed Castro Chapter." Then "I am Dave L, Class of 1988. I am a member of the proposed Castro Chapter." Then "I am Dr. Barbara W, Class of 1984. I am a member of the proposed Castro Chapter."
Every eye on the room was focused on us and you could have heard a pin drop.
Coming out is not fun. It’s always difficult. I usually try to do it with a sense of humor, a joke, to try to put the person I’m coming out to at ease, as well as to make myself more comfortable. Wasn’t it Chandler who said, “I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.” This was not a joking situation. This is where I needed to stand up and say, “I’m Trey R, and I’m a gay USNA alumni.” And I did. I did it while fighting to keep my voice from breaking or just completely choking up. In a room of 70-80 USNA alumni and alumni association staff. We’re not talking about an open and warm environment.
My classmate, Jeff organized USNA Out last year. The goal was to get the USNA Alumni Association to recognize us at GLBT alumni. We want to support our school, it’s mission, but many of us had felt hampered by the fact that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is still the law of the land and joining a local alumni chapter was going to be uncomfortable. USNA Out never made it to the Board of Trustees last year. Our paperwork didn’t meet all of the criteria, so we never got to a vote. This year, we made sure our paperwork was in order, our mission was the same as every other alumni chapter in the world. To meet the geographic requirements (which is kind of bogus because there is an RV chapter), we picked the Catro District of San Francisco, the predominantly gay district in San Francisco. Before the meeting last Thursday, the alumni association released a press statement saying that they were going to recommend disapproval, so even as we made our way to Annapolis, we knew we were going to fail. But still we went. Jeff’s request to speak to the Board of Trustees was denied, but he did get a one-on-one meeting with Admiral Trost (ret), who is the Chairman of the Board of Trustees. Jeff conveyed to the Admiral that were there because we love the Naval Academy and that we have proposed an alumni chapter that is free of discrimination. We had worked to make sure that the proposal for Castro Chapter meets *all* of the criteria used by the Board to reject us last year and that we request that the Board treat our chapter application as they would any other. We just want to support our alma mater openly and honestly. Admiral Trost did not support our chapter because San Francisco has a chapter already. But he did say that from his experience in the business world, that he does not take issues with those who are gay, that he was disappointed at some of the correspondence he had received from "bigoted" alumni, and that he admired (or some similar word) our courage.
If you’ve attended a board meeting, you know they are boring. I had brought my laptop and actually managed to get some work done amidst the membership committee report, the audit committee report, etc. We broke for lunch and we actually ate with other alumni and alumni association staff members. The meal was nice and the conversation pleasant, always remembering the golden rule about not discussing religion, politics, or sexual orientation in a mixed forum.
After lunch and a few more reports, they got to the part where they discussed new chapters. Admiral Trost started out by directing class presidents and chapter presidents to be inclusive, welcoming all alumni, including those of different "persuasions." The staff director in charge of new chapters took the podium and made some carefully prepared statement about the staff's chapter review process so that the trustees and the audience would buy into their justification for recommending rejection of the Castro Chapter. It was apparent that the Board usually goes with the staff recommendation when deciding whether or not to approve an alumni chapter. A motion was put before the Board to reject the Castro Chapter; and then seconded.
Now this is the hard part. The Board of Trustees member from San Francisco is a lesbian. And she spoke out on the motion. She spoke in favor of rejecting the Castro Chapter. While I disagree with a lot of what she said, I will admit that it took a lot of personal courage to talk about her personal life, about how she and her partner were welcomed by the San Francisco chapter, about becoming active in the chapter, and then eventually becoming a Board of Trustees member. I’m happy for her. And that’s what I would like to do, but I think being gay and open in the San Francisco chapter is a bit different than being gay and open in the Washington DC chapter, or the Alabama chapter, or the North Carolina Chapter. If there was one chapter in the US that was welcoming of GLBT alumni, I would expect it would be San Francisco. But by projecting her experience on us, by speaking out in favor of rejecting our chapter, she provided cover for the rest of board of trustees and the Castro Chapter was unanimously rejected.
After the PR blitz last year, the Alumni Association was prepared with a press release. It’s a little misleading since it claimed that the “by its own definition, the Castro chapter would have established an official gay Alumni chapter.” That’s not true. Our chapter mission does not mention the term gay or sexual orientation. Ironically, the press release also claimed the rejection was because of their commitment to diversity! Just for clarification, the board of trustees is made up of 29 members, two are white women, and there is one African American man. So it really is the picture of diversity. The press release also talked about “Inclusiveness.” Which would be easier to believe if one of our members hadn’t heard some of the board of trustees refer to us as “those faggots.” In addition, it seems that one of the themes from the board of trustees was to reach out to alumni to get them join the alumni association. With all of the press from the rejection, our group got three new members, all straight. One was from a female alumni in the Chicago area who had repeatedly tried to get involved with the local chapter there and had been repeatedly snubbed.
Anyways, it was definitely an interesting and exciting experience. We aren’t done yet. We’re still trying to determine our next move. But as Jeff said, we put a human face on our chapter. That’s a pretty good start.
A Grey November Day on O St
A Grey November Day
I took the day off. Well, let me re-phrase that. I didn't go into the office today. I did spend most of the day on the computer doing work, I just wasn't at work.
After lunch I go outside for a walk. The weather is weird. It's a grey November day, but it's not cold, thought it feels like it should be. It's almost 60 degrees and I'm in a pair of shorts. Futilely holding on to summer when I know winter is just around the corner. I follow my usual route. Up P St to the Circle. I never get to experience my neighborhood during a normal work day, so it all seems a bit odd. Except for the occasional homeless person or chess player or the business man crossing from one side to the other, the Circle is mainly empty. I sit on the edge of the fountain and look at the cloud formations reflected in the water. The rippling of the water from the fountain makes the clouds look rough and stormy, but they aren't. They are just there, clinging to the sky and creating that late afternoon grey blanket. There is a flock of pigeons in the Circle. They rise from the ground as a one big squadron, bank left, then right, and then settle on a leafless tree. There are other trees nearby, some with leaves, but they are all positioned on this one tree. It is hard to see a branch that isn't covered by pigeons. It reminds me of "The Birds". Slowly, in a small groups of no more than 3 or 4, the pigeons descend from the tree to a grassy area around 50 feet off. It's a constant stream of pigeons and I watch fascinated by the progression. It's time to move on and I walk north out of the Circle towards Connecticutt. I have to walk through the pigeon's flight patch. At this point, they are low and they easily pass around me as I keep walking. They don't bother me, and I don't bother them.
Here's a picture of my street.
After lunch I go outside for a walk. The weather is weird. It's a grey November day, but it's not cold, thought it feels like it should be. It's almost 60 degrees and I'm in a pair of shorts. Futilely holding on to summer when I know winter is just around the corner. I follow my usual route. Up P St to the Circle. I never get to experience my neighborhood during a normal work day, so it all seems a bit odd. Except for the occasional homeless person or chess player or the business man crossing from one side to the other, the Circle is mainly empty. I sit on the edge of the fountain and look at the cloud formations reflected in the water. The rippling of the water from the fountain makes the clouds look rough and stormy, but they aren't. They are just there, clinging to the sky and creating that late afternoon grey blanket. There is a flock of pigeons in the Circle. They rise from the ground as a one big squadron, bank left, then right, and then settle on a leafless tree. There are other trees nearby, some with leaves, but they are all positioned on this one tree. It is hard to see a branch that isn't covered by pigeons. It reminds me of "The Birds". Slowly, in a small groups of no more than 3 or 4, the pigeons descend from the tree to a grassy area around 50 feet off. It's a constant stream of pigeons and I watch fascinated by the progression. It's time to move on and I walk north out of the Circle towards Connecticutt. I have to walk through the pigeon's flight patch. At this point, they are low and they easily pass around me as I keep walking. They don't bother me, and I don't bother them.
Here's a picture of my street.
Axis
It's a hair salon on Connecticutt, just north of
HellFire Nation
How To Lose Friends and Alienate People
Who Are We Now?
Hold The Enlightenment
How to Deal With Depression
When Bad Things Happen to Good People
Never By Lied to Again.
In the window to the right of the door is another similar display:
Fodor's Guide to Canaada
Frommer's Quebec
The Lonely Planet's Guide to
The Rough Guide for
Running away is not the answer. But it does seem attrative at times. Okay, enough politics for now.
A Four Fold Franciscan Blessing
Back in October, I went to the Human Rights Campaign National Dinner. It was my first real HRC event, and it was fun, inspirational, and very moving. While I was looking forward to seeing and hearing from the other people nominated for awards, I wanted to see Bishop Gene Robinson from New Hampshire. He was being honored with an award that night and it was great to hear him speak. He gave a very low key, but moving speech. Hearing about having to wear a bullet vest under his vestments at his ordination due to death threats was just a bit surreal. God loves us all, I'm not sure the people who sent the death threats remember that. At the dinner, I went up to chat with him and he was just as warm and friendly in person and he invited me to join the service he would be presiding over at the Church of the Epiphany in downtown DC on Sunday. I attended the service and it was very nice. But what I remember most was the dismissal blessing that day. Here it is:
"May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. Amen.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace. Amen.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. Amen.
May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. Amen."
After the election, the gay marriage ammendments, the blue state vs. red state rhetoric, it's all kind of overpowering and hard to deal with. And yet this simple blessing really puts it into perspective. There are the values that I want to make a part of my everyday life. They will make me a better person regardless of what color I am, what my political beliefs are, what nationality I am, or what my sexual orientation is. If everyone holds all of these values dear, and tries to live by them, then the world will be a much better place.
*******Two posts in one day, and one religious in nature. Don't expect alot of that.********
"May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. Amen.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace. Amen.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. Amen.
May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. Amen."
After the election, the gay marriage ammendments, the blue state vs. red state rhetoric, it's all kind of overpowering and hard to deal with. And yet this simple blessing really puts it into perspective. There are the values that I want to make a part of my everyday life. They will make me a better person regardless of what color I am, what my political beliefs are, what nationality I am, or what my sexual orientation is. If everyone holds all of these values dear, and tries to live by them, then the world will be a much better place.
*******Two posts in one day, and one religious in nature. Don't expect alot of that.********
"Tuesday, 3AM"
"Once again I'm wide awake, waiting for time to mend this part of me that keeps on breaking, newspapers I threw away, washed the dishes in the sink, 3 AM on Tuesday, I have too much time to think." - "Tuesday, AM" from the Latter Days soundtrack.
I love that song. Heartbreak, melancholy, unrequited love.
What does that have to do with me now? Not much really. It's 5AM on Sunday and I'm dealing with a plumbing problem. But it doesn't sound as cool as the song running through my head. I'm listening to it now, it almost drowns out the drip, drip, drip, that seems to echo in my apartment. I've banged on the door of the unit above mine, and I've called them as well (I feel pretty smart figuring out how to do that while not knowing their phone number. The solution: the front door entry system!). The drip isn't too bad now, but I know how these things go. And there really isn't anything a plumber can do until we figure out the source of the leak. According to the condo management company, they won't call a locksmith to break into the unit until Monday. So how bad will the damage be before the owners get back? That's the question. In the meantime, I get the drip, drip, drip.
I so want to go to sleep. I crashed around midnight, so 4 hours of sleep is not going to cut it today. Just so paranoid about going to sleep and then the drip, drip, drip turning into a downpour while I sleep.
More from "Tuesday, 3AM": "He thinks I can't hear him crying, I pretend that I don't know, about all of those 3AMs he spends wrestling with your ghost. I hear him call up to heaven, I watch him crawl down through hell, he's not getting over you, I know he never will."
I love that song. Heartbreak, melancholy, unrequited love.
What does that have to do with me now? Not much really. It's 5AM on Sunday and I'm dealing with a plumbing problem. But it doesn't sound as cool as the song running through my head. I'm listening to it now, it almost drowns out the drip, drip, drip, that seems to echo in my apartment. I've banged on the door of the unit above mine, and I've called them as well (I feel pretty smart figuring out how to do that while not knowing their phone number. The solution: the front door entry system!). The drip isn't too bad now, but I know how these things go. And there really isn't anything a plumber can do until we figure out the source of the leak. According to the condo management company, they won't call a locksmith to break into the unit until Monday. So how bad will the damage be before the owners get back? That's the question. In the meantime, I get the drip, drip, drip.
I so want to go to sleep. I crashed around midnight, so 4 hours of sleep is not going to cut it today. Just so paranoid about going to sleep and then the drip, drip, drip turning into a downpour while I sleep.
More from "Tuesday, 3AM": "He thinks I can't hear him crying, I pretend that I don't know, about all of those 3AMs he spends wrestling with your ghost. I hear him call up to heaven, I watch him crawl down through hell, he's not getting over you, I know he never will."