"I'LL BE OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER!"
He said. And he clearly wasn't using his inside voice. But let me back up first.
It's 2005 (?) and I'm on my second BGC. It headed south from San Diego to hit the western Mexican rivera ports (Cabo, PV, Mazatlan, etc). The first day at sea the weather is awful. All of the LA pretty boys are wearing their super small little speedos, wrapped up like mummies in pool towels because it's so cold. But hey, those bois brought a different swimsuit for everyday, so it's got to be worn! That night the weather clears up and the first big dance of the cruise is happening. No clue on the theme. Around 130AM, I wander off the dance floor, perhaps a bit tipsy, and make my way to the OceanView cafe (the 24 hour buffet on the ship) to grab some pizza. As one does at 130 in the morning. I grab a couple of slices, sit down, and then that's where I hear them, just a couple of tables away.
"IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?" Again, not an inside voice.
"DO YOU WANT TO FUCK HIM?" Now at this point, I've slowly turned to see the source of the discussion. Two LA A Listers.
"BECAUSE IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN FUCK HIM! AND THEN I'LL BE OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER. I'LL GET OFF THIS SHIP TOMORROW AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN."
Sigh, it's clear that these two didn't have "The Talk" before the cruise. There are lots of couples who go on the cruise and are monogamous. To be honest, there are more who are in open relationships. And there are even some who have some sort of Don't Ask, Don't Tell type rule. Hey, whatever works for you and I'm throwing no shade at all. I've got partnered/married friends who fit into each of those different categories. Whatever works for them I think is what is important.
Now flash forward to 2015 (ish) and I'm on another BGC (shocking I know). I meet this super cute muscle bear from Oz (OzBear let's call him). And he's like a gay unicorn. He doesn't realize how attractive he is and he's still very nice and friendly. If I were 15 years younger and 30 pounds lighter, I would have totally hit on him. But instead we became just friends. And we exchanged FaceBook info so I would see his posts from time to time. And via FB, I watched him meet, fall in love, and travel a lot with an American Bear (AmBear) from NYC. So there were longs flights to visit each other or joint vacations, etc. While I was a little jealous (young muscle bears in love), it was cute. And finally AmBear decided that he was going to move to Australia so they could live together. It was like a fairy tale! And it was all good for awhile, but then there was the breakup. Of course on Facebook. And it was ugly. Accusations of infidelity, cheating etc.
I don't know why, but this breakup got me thinking. Is it unrealistic for two people (and this isn't just for the gays) who are super attractive to remain monogamous? When are you so attractive that you can have sex whenever and with whoever you want when you are single, even if your partner is super attractive, can you stay monogamous? I mean, just look at Hollywood and the super hot actors/actresses who get together and then one of them cheats and then it implodes in a spectacular fashion, and usually with video on TMZ.
I know infidelity and cheating isn't confined to very attractive people. It happens to everyone across the board. Gay, straight, ugly, hot, married, single, etc. But I do think it's easier to mentally accept when they are both very attractive. Is that the hollywood programming that's seeped into our minds? I don't know.
When I think about the future relationship that I want to have, I think I would like it to be monogamous, at least initially, though I'm not so naive that I don't think that an open relationship might be part of the long term solution. I don't know. Considering my lack of boyfriend, it's not a discussion I need to have anytime soon.