All About Trey

Life, Travel, Adventure

Fatty McFat

It's official. I'm huge. No, not huge. GINORMOUS! Instead of playing the role of the handsome professional gay male for the summer, I get the role of the beached whale. Gee, didn't I play that last year, and the year before?

Went to the gym this AM and got on the scales afterwards. It was not pretty. This is the most I've weighed in almost 6 years. Just not happy.

Rationalization: It's not my fault. I went on vacation, then I got sick, then I went on travel, then I got sick again. So it's not really my fault.

Denial: I really don't feel that heavy. And some of that is muscles, I'm not 100% fat. Just probably 75-80% fat.

Like any good little fag, I've got my fair share of body dismorphia issues. I'm sure it had nothing to do with all of the years my Dad called me fat when I was a teenager. No, not at all. And I won't share some of the strange things I did to maintain the body weight standards in the Navy. No, not bulemia. But let's just say that I climbed on board the obsessive exercise train long before it became popular.

Anyways, when you've battled with your weight for as long as I have, you don't really expect to win, but how about a truce every now and then? Would that be too much to ask?

The funny thing is that something like this would usually send me into a great downward spiral that would include copious amounts of full strength Coke, Chocolate Zingers, and Pizza. Yes, I know, but don't knock it till you try it.

But it didn't. Well, atleast not yet. I'm still okay. Not happy, but okay. The good thing is that I've started this new program where they portion the meals for you. So I've eaten my lunch. And my dinner. And I'm not hungry and while part of me wants to drown my sorrows in chocolate, I can fight that. So we'll see.

Of course, I'm still going to go running tonight also. That will help me feel better.