All About Trey

Life, Travel, Adventure

Another Whole Foods Altercation

(warning: foul language ahead)

Friday night. I go to the gym and on the way home I decide to hit Whole Foods. It's a weakness, I know. I grab some risotto and mediterranean pasta salad and I walk down to the express lane and I get behind a woman. A short, black woman with very short hair. And a grocery cart full of food. FULL. In the express lane. I'm tired, but I've got the whole post exercise zen thing going, so I'm like screw it. I don't care. I'll wait.

The poor checkout clerk is trying to explain to the woman that this is the express lane. But the woman won't hear it. "It's been a long week, I don't want anyone talking to me me, can you please not talk to me, I just want to buy my food and go home, can you please just ring my food up and not talk to me, I just want to not talk to anyone. . . ." and she continues to babble on. The checkout clerk is overwhelmed by the tirade and just starts ringing her up. And the whole time the black woman hasn't stopped talking. I think if she thinks if she stops talking then she'll have to listen to someone explain to her why she's not supposed to be in this line. I stand and watch and listen. She's buying some good stuff. Flowers, cakes, some salmon, etc. It's Whole Foods and it's not cheap and I think from her accent she might be an embassy person. Not sure.

The checkout clerk finally gets her to sign her credit card and she turns to me and starts to apologize for the delay, etc. I just shake my head as the short black woman wheels her cart out of the store. I tell the clerk it's not a big deal. But I add, "You know for someone who didn't want to talk about anything, she sure did talk the whole time." That got a chuckle from everyone in the two lines that had seen the little situation.

I pay for my food and I go to grab a Blade and I hear someone say, "Just mind your own business, faggot." I stop. And I turn around and there is the short black woman pointing to me. "You can keep your fagotty comments to yourself becuase I don't give a shit about what you think."

Now, my post exercise zen is gone. Evaporated. Now it's all about my post exercise adrenaline. And as K would say, "Oh hell to the NO!"

"I told the clerk that for someone who didn't want to talk that's all you seem to do." I replied. There's a stubborn streak that I have that's not pretty and I will not put with this crap.

"Well you can kiss my cunt you faggot."
"Gee, that's why I'm gay, becuase I don't want to kiss your cunt." I reply.

The conversation, if one wants to call it that, went downhill from there. I'm so glad there were no children nearby as I think every curse word I knew flew out of her mouth as she tried to denigrate, shame, and intimidate me. And it wasn't working.

She said that she would beat me. And I asked her if she was going to hit me. I was taller and bigger than her, and there were people around. I was thinking "Bring it on bitch!" But she said she wasn't going to him me, that she was going to "fuck me up." That's a nice general threat.

She brought up the race issue. "I'm a black woman and you can kiss my pussy." Yeah, I'm not blind. I think we've established that I'm gay and not going to be eating any pussy. "You think you becuase you're some white faggot that you can say what you want." Actually, I think I'm an American enjoying my freedom of speech.

The filth continued to spew from her mouth and I finally realized that she while technically not crazy, was pretty screwed up. So I started to walk away. Which only emboldened her. So I turned to her and said, "Have a good night. God Bless You!"

As I walked away, one of the guys who had been in the other line and seen this whole altercation said, "Wow, she's insane" as I walked by.

Ah, another routine evening in my diverse and friendly neighborhood. BTW: the sun dried tomato risotto. Fabulous!