Fame and Success

So let’s tackle success first. What does it mean to be successful? For the longest time, it used to be measured in wealth; how rich was someone? Did they own a fancy home or two, a nice car or two, spend money on clothes and travel, and just live the lifestyles of the rich and famous? I think most people still use that as the quantitative measurement for success. I would argue that in today's social media-driven society, it can also be measured in the number of followers, clicks, and being identified as an influencer. Obviously, that does not immediately translate to wealth (and therefore success), and I think those metrics are probably better used to measure fame. Which we’ll get to. Ish.

But is that the best way to measure success? As the disparity between the rich, the dwindling middle class, and the growing lower class continues to widen, is it realistic to use that as a metric for success? Are there better qualitative metrics that we should be using to measure success? I’m not a parent, but as much as I would like my children (or in my case, my niece and nephew) to be rich (and therefore successful), I guess I’d more like them to be happy, healthy, and loved. Many people live a life where they are happy, healthy, and loved, but not wealthy. Isn’t that a better metric to measure one’s life instead of their net financial worth?

The problem with these metrics that I’ve identified is that I fall woefully short when I measure myself against them. I’m healthy. Ish. I’ve got some health issues that can mainly be addressed by medication. But I’m fat, and that’s a health issue that I’m still unable to resolve. Loved? It’s been ten years since I said I loved someone romantically, and someone said it back to me. Ten years. And happy? Well, that’s a continuing question that I can’t seem to answer.

While randomly scrolling through Netflix recently, I saw the link for Fame. The movie. The original. Set in a very dingy, dirty, crime-ridden New York. I loved it when I first saw it, say 1984? Probably on HBO back in the day. So I watched it, and it’s still good. But apparently, the quote about happiness that I thought came from 16 Candles came from Fame. From the gay character in Fame. The minor gay character in Fame, but hey, it was 1984 (ish). A gay character back then, who wasn’t dying from AIDS, was a big deal. However, this might have been pre-AIDS now that I think about it.

The more I think about it, and I do think about it a lot, I’m not sure what happiness means anymore. I like to think that I was relatively happy before. Before meaning when you ask? I really don’t know. I just feel that somewhere along the way, my default state switched from happy (or not being unhappy) to being unhappy. And I don’t know how to switch it back. And yes, I’m self-aware enough to know how fucked up that is. And I do want to change it back. God knows I’m tired of my own shit at this point. I can’t imagine why anyone else would want to deal with it.

The other line from 16 Candles that I remember, and yes, I’m sure it’s from 16 Candles this time, is: “When you don’t have anything, you don’t have anything to lose.” Which also seems very relevant to me these days. When you aren’t happy, when you aren’t loved, what do you have to lose? So another question to rattle around my head in the days, weeks, and months to come. Good times. /s. Obvi.